Managing Workplace Romance

Workplace romances are common, says Professor Fiona Wilson, yet they remain understudied and managers are often unclear how to manage them.

Surveys indicate that between 38 and 47% of employees will say that they have been involved in a workplace romance. A further 20% say that they would be receptive to a workplace romance (1).

Nearly one in five say they have dated the boss and nearly one in three marry their co-worker (2). While romance at work is very common, it can lead to some very negative consequences such as job loss, litigation or negative publicity in newspapers. McDonald (3) dramatically illustrates this point of the dangers managers face by entitling his article published in a law journal as “Failed workplace romances: If you’re lucky you’ll just get sued”. The issue of workplace romance is particularly topical when high profile individuals lose their jobs or professional reputations. Cases that have been widely discussed in the media include Clinton-Lewinsky in which consensual sexual relations with an intern resulted in the impeachment of the US President. The Red Cross fired its President because of a personal relationship with a subordinate, the World Bank President resigned following a conflict of interest from his relationship with an employee, Boeing’s chief executive was fired after an “improper relationship” with a colleague and most recently a CIA chief has resigned after his extra-marital affair was uncovered (4).

Workplace romances have been defined as “mutually desired relationships involving sexual attraction between two employees of the same organization” (5). Sexuality in the form of sexual attraction is then a defining feature of workplace romance. The definitions tend to distinguish romantic behaviour from sexually harassing behaviour which is unwelcome, non consensual, and a form of sex discrimination. Definitions also tend to assume that the romance is between two partners of the opposite sex and the literature has been fairly silent on the topic of same sex romances.

Recognising the need to take a more critical and in-depth look at the experience of organisational romance, Kathleen Riach (now an Associate Professor at Monash University in Australia) and I designed some research to look at how the concept of workplace romance was defined and negotiated within a chain of public-houses, comparing the views of managers and workers. It examined the ‘rules of engagement’, the personal experiences as well as first-hand experiences of workplace romance. We found that romance was conceptualised as ‘natural’ and something that could not be legislated for or formally managed. However unwritten norms and rules did influence employees behaviours, and of more concern, the social negotiation of these rules was often subject to gendered expectations around how men and women should behave (6). This has led to exploring how sexuality in general may be an active organising force that both directly and indirectly shapes other dimensions of working life.

Despite these inroads, there is much more research needed in this area, particularly more qualitative research to glean firsthand experience of workplace romance as there is very little information about what is actually taking place in organisations. In particular, there is a lack of understanding how people successfully negotiate their relationship in particular occupational settings or manage issues surrounding disclosure. Another area ready for research is an understanding of the inconsistency of espoused views on romance and actual behaviour. For example research has found that while a manager might advise their assistants against having romantic relationships with their subordinates, they may actually be “serial romancers” themselves (7). Also little is known about policies and workfloor practices, particularly informal policies that attempt to manage intimate relationships. Punitive or reactionary practices such as separating a couple, formally reprimanding or dismissing them (8) is an out of date approach when at the same time, employees are increasingly expected to work longer hours, travel together and subsequently socialise together as a means of building a strong organisational culture. However, how to ensure that romance at work and the subsequent dynamics it creates for all workers is understood, considered and facilitates a healthy working environment is still a key area for future research inquiry and Fiona would be interested to hear from potential PhD students who would like to research on this topic.

Meanwhile the current general advice to employers appears to be to establish a policy or guidelines under a more general ‘intimate relationship’ policy which may also cover potential conflicts of interest surrounding family members in order to circumnavigate any possible tensions. However, it should also be recognised that an individual has the right to a private life and in many cases workplace romances will have little detrimental effect on day to day operational activities. Such policies therefore need to be communicated then applied fairly and consistently whilst at the same time not assuming that relationships will automatically detract from employee productivity or commitment. Romance at work might not be possible to manage as such, but ensuring it occurs within an open and fair environment where employees are recognised as mature and responsible individuals is.

REFERENCES:

(1) Horan, S.M. (2013) Workplace romance motives, Psychology Today, 5th June. Found at www.psychologytoday.com/blog/adventures-in-dating/201306/workplace-romance-motives
(2) See Careerbuilder.com who publish an annual survey on office romance.
(3) McDonald McDonald, J.J. (2000) Failed workplace romances: if you’re lucky you’ll just get sued, Employee Relations Law Journal, 2, 2, 101-111.
(4) BBC News (2012) Gmail probe led FBI to CIA chief David Petraeus’s affair, 11th November Found at www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-20281355
(5) Pierce, C.A. and Aguinis, H. (2001) A framework for investigating the link between workplace romance and sexual harassment, Group and Organization Management, 26, 206-229.
(6) Riach, K. And Wilson, F. (2007) Don’t screw the crew: exploring the rules of engagement in organizational romance, British Journal of Management, 18, 1, 79-92.
(7) Wilson, F. And Riach, K. (2008) “Organizational Romance: deviancy and discourse, where “Love Conquers All” Paper given to Women in Science Conference organized by the Network of Female Professors at Radboud University, Nijmegan, Netherlands on 6th March.
(8) Personnel Today (2012b) Employers count the costs of workplace relationships, 28th March. Found at www.personneltoday.com/Articles/02/04/2012/58432/Employerscount-the-costs-of-workplacerelationships.html